An Honest Ranking of European Airports, Based on Vibes and Chaos
(4 minute read)
Not by size, not by efficiency—by pure emotional impact.
Some airports function like well-oiled machines. Others feel like you’ve entered a simulation built to test your patience, your relationships, and your ability to find the one escalator that actually works.
At Tripologiste, we spend a lot of time thinking about where travelers land—and we’re not just talking about runways. So here it is: our unapologetically subjective, vibe-based ranking of major European airports. Based on chaos levels, emotional damage, and the rare joy of actually feeling like a human while in transit.
1. Zurich (ZRH)
Vibe: The spa of airports
Chaos level: Nonexistent
Best described as: The place you didn’t know you were worthy of.
Everything is clean. Everything works. The signage feels like it was designed by engineers and therapists. You might cry from how orderly it is. We once saw someone apologize to a trash can for making it work too hard.
If you miss your train from Zurich airport, it’s probably your fault—and somehow still a learning opportunity.
2. Copenhagen (CPH)
Vibe: Nordic minimalism with a side of cinnamon
Chaos level: Mild, but always stylish
Best described as: IKEA meets a boutique hotel lobby, but with planes.
CPH is proof that airports can be calm, beautiful, and smell like cardamom buns. It’s almost suspicious. You walk through it and think, “What am I missing?” Nothing. You’re just not stressed, and you don’t trust it.
3. Amsterdam Schiphol (AMS)
Vibe: “We’re doing our best”
Chaos level: Medium-high
Best described as: Organized chaos with occasional bouts of complete meltdown.
Schiphol can be smooth… or it can suddenly become a dystopian game of “will I make it through security in under 90 minutes?” Still, it has decent food, efficient trains, and that Dutch practicality that somehow keeps the whole thing from collapsing.
You might cry here, but it’ll be orderly.
4. Paris Charles de Gaulle (CDG)
Vibe: Existential spiral in Brutalist form
Chaos level: High and emotional
Best described as: The airport equivalent of trying to print boarding passes during a power outage in a museum.
CDG is a test. Of your optimism. Of your relationships. Of your ability to find Gate 2Lb. And once you do? Surprise! It’s a bus gate.
Still, it’s Paris. There’s always a pastry somewhere. Eventually.
5. Berlin Brandenburg (BER)
Vibe: Shiny new building, deeply confused energy
Chaos level: Medium, but somehow still disappointing
Best described as: A very competent intern who just got promoted and is doing their best.
After a decade of delays, Berlin’s airport finally opened—and somehow still feels like it’s finding its rhythm. It’s not awful. It’s just not Berlin. The city is wild, layered, gritty. BER is… beige.
But hey, the bathrooms are nice.
6. London Heathrow (LHR)
Vibe: Corporate purgatory with overpriced snacks
Chaos level: High, especially if you’re changing terminals
Best described as: An airport inside a mall inside a transportation simulation.
Heathrow wants you to feel like you’re shopping for diamonds before your 8:30 a.m. flight. It’s glossy and vast and full of gates that require cardio. You will walk 2.5km to get to your connection. You will wonder if you’re still in England.
And yet, somehow, it mostly works.
7. Rome Fiumicino (FCO)
Vibe: Catholic guilt meets fashion week
Chaos level: Medium, but in an operatic way
Best described as: A stylish mess with a strong espresso game.
FCO is kind of a disaster, but it’s charming. The announcements are loud, the queues are long, but the coffee is better than your entire layover in Atlanta. You’ll be annoyed, you’ll be late—and you’ll leave full of feelings and mozzarella.
8. Frankfurt (FRA)
Vibe: Concrete, corridors, and confusion
Chaos level: High, but quietly so
Best described as: The logistics center of Europe where joy goes to die.
FRA is efficient on paper but feels like a maze built by someone who’s never been late for anything in their life. You will walk for eternity. You will pass gates with no humans. You might end up in Terminal B4Qπ. No one will help you.
And yet… you’ll probably make your flight.
Vibes Matter
You can survive any airport. But some make it feel like a gentle hello, and others like a challenge from the universe. At Tripologiste, we plan trips that minimize the mess—connecting flights with breathing room, arriving through airports that don’t destroy your soul, and avoiding routes that end with you sobbing next to a vending machine.
Have a best/worst airport memory? Drop it in the comments. Bonus points for emotionally scarring connections.